Motherhood is Dangerous For Your Brain…

Use it or lose it applies to brain cells.  I can personally attest.

Since choosing to stay home five years ago to raise my kids I have been surprised at the truly moronic thoughts and statements that have become the norm for me.  Recently, I asked my sister-in-law, ‘I really like that lead singer of Dave Mathews Band, what’s his name?’

I was serious.

I can go on and on with examples, but the following is one of my most forgetful moments.  One morning I turned on the faucet for the laundry room sink, added the hand-washables and went to dote on my four-month old who had JUST woken up from his nap. It was 45 MINUTES LATER when I went back into the laundry room to discover that not only was the sink full of water, but so was my laundry room floor!  I had two inches of standing water in my laundry room!  How could I have forgotten to turn off the water!!?

I thought I was the only Mom with a mushy brain until a few months later, my neighbor confessed that she had been playing pretend cooking with her girls in her REAL oven but forgotten.  Later that day when she turned on the oven to preheat for dinner a TERRIBLE smell soon filled the kitchen – yep, melting plastic bowls!!  Eeek!

We started comparing notes and decided motherhood is dangerous for your brain (and maybe your house too)!  Is it lack of sleep?  Not paying attention because of too much multi-tasking?  Or is that not using your brain for much more than how-many-different-ways-you-can-configure-mega-blocks is affecting the way you think?  Or most likely, it’s a combination of all three.  I like to call this phenomenon Mom Mush Brain….and here are TEN-TIP-Offs you may have it too…

1. The Math to pay the babysitter for four hours has become too complex.
2. You have lost your phone, wallet AND keys all in one day.
3. You’re not sure what day of the week it is.
4. Your most frequent question is “Now, what was I talking about?’
5. You can’t remember all the words to the National Anthem, but Elmo’s Song you know by heart.
6. What to cook for dinner is the most consuming topic of the day.
7. You finally find your car keys somewhere completely wacky like the refrigerator.
8. Your 5 year old is TRULY beating you at Memory.
9. You find yourself relating to Spongebob and Patrick.
10. You are more comfortable talking about POOP than politics.

Tackling Kindergarten

For the first day of school Vonn chose a Hawkeye football jersey, his black Nike shorts and his new shoes which he picked out because they had toggles instead of laces.

I videotaped him brushing his teeth.

I also videotaped him eating his breakfast.

He had Fruity Cheerios and I let him win the fight over not drinking his orange juice. He did after all, indulge me and answered my eighty questions on camera. He also, ate all three of his vitamins.

When it was time, I took him out the front door to get his picture on just the same spot he had two years earlier for the first day of preschool. This time he was at least three inches taller and had a little brother to pose with. Vonn struck a sporty-boyish pose and leaned in toward his brother’s big belly and scrunchy smile.

He looked like he was ready to tackle kindergarten.

I had prepped him for much more than ‘plays nice with others’.

• We had played on the school playground at least ten times.
• I had made a photo book from photos I had taken at orientation.
• We introduced ourselves to the new teacher, the secretary, the principle, the custodian and whomever else was there during the summer.
• We had read Franklin Goes to School and The Kissing Hand a gazillion times.
• I requested the class list and arranged three playdates with future classmates.
• We practiced our morning routine down to driving to school, walking him to his classroom, finding his seat and saying goodbye.
• We practiced opening his tupperware containers, go-gurts and pretzel bags for cafeteria lunchtime.
• I introduced him to anyone who looked kindergarten-size at the school’s ice cream social.

I prepped him so much that he was ready for kindergarten to start so the prepping would be over. I felt the same way.

……….

The first day was rough. I left him at his seat with his face crumpling up and his shoulders slumped down. When I picked him up, his face was splotchy and his eyes were swollen. It was obvious he had been crying and crying hard. He confirmed it when he told me at nap-time he got all boogery. Which as his Mom, I know that he means the kind of upset you get when you have boogers running down your face and you don’t care. The kind of upset you get when you can’t get your breath and it feels almost good because it’s physically EXACTLY how you FEEL emotionally on the inside: messy, panicky and out of control.

On the car ride home he didn’t say much. But he perked up when we walked in the door. I had cupcakes waiting. I asked him all about his day. We talked, laughed and shared some tears. We hugged really good hugs. There were some good parts to his day and we threaded those out and made something small, hopeful and warm out of them. I felt really loved and needed as a Mom. In an age where Spongebob-humor and sassy iCarly-talk has more of an influence on him than I’d like, I felt like there was a really good exchange between us that day.

It wasn’t that he had the perfect, most amazing first-day-of-school which made it so special. Rather, it was one that had a little struggle, a few tears and in the end, a small triumph. It was a day where he needed a little coaching and I, as his Mom, was JUST the coach he needed.

Forgetfulness by Billy Collins – Animated Poetry

Animated Poetry – my new favorite thing…especially this one titled Forgetfulness by Billy Collins….

If you like this one be sure to check out more animated poems by Billy Collins:  The Country, Now and Then, Some Days, and The Dead.  You can find them on YouTube!

Are YOU Cheating on Your Book?

I cheat when I read books, but only on the really good ones.

I am currently reading a very good book by Philippa Gregory and although I am only on page 162 (of 661) I already know where and how my favorite character is destined to suffer and succeed.  I have seen her future as it was written (and while I’m confessing I rented the movie last night too).  Yes, I’ve read the last page already and probably about 15 revealing paragraphs throughout the book.

‘For shame!‘ you say.

‘Terrible, have I no self-control?’

Perhaps not, but is it really so wrong?

I know far ahead of time before my favorite characters have moved to the country, been beheaded, married a vampire or fallen in love with a priest.  It doesn’t change how I feel about my heroes and villains, if anything it allows me to get to know them better.  Reading two paragraphs, four chapters ahead or the last page or even the entire last chapter (only once I swear) lets me slow down and take my characters actions and thoughts in deeper.

For instance Steinbeck’s East of Eden, I, who cannot remember where I have placed my wallet at any given time, can quote my favorite line without looking.  “You can split a man down the middle, but you can’t always reach for the same half.’  Oh how true!  Years after reading that book I use that little gem of philosophy in real life.  Now if I had been racing through paragraphs to find out what happens to Caleb and Aron, I surely wouldn’t have noticed that line that speaks to me so.

Perhaps the authors would be mortified to know I just couldn’t hold myself back.  Or maybe they would be flattered?  I can only apologize and rationalize that I would do the same if it were real life too.  I think I’d opt to know the end, and I think my life would be the sweeter for it.

For me, it’s about how the book makes me, the reader, FEEL.   As I get older and pieces of plots slip away I still have impressions of books based on my feelings when I read them.  I don’t want to remember that I raced through something or that it was an easy, fast read, I want true love and heartache and despair to leave an echo in my heart.  What I really want is not just to know sooner but to remember LONGER. Who can blame me for that.